Not posting for 7 months? Not cool.

Ok, so I've been a little busy. Sue me. Actually, don't. Please. No time for that.

A LOT has happened in the past 7 months. Mostly all happy things. For a brief synopsis....

1. We went to Wyoming for Christmas with the Garlicks. Fun! Got to have a little holiday time at home in PA with my mom and dad, and enjoyed snow for a (short) PA winter. Love it.

2. Harrison was accepted to University of Tulsa law school with a 90% scholarship. WHAT?! I didn't even know they gave those. I, too, was accepted with the same scholarship (THEY GIVE OUT TWO??), but have decided to not go, at least not now. Working full time and going to school is tough for anyone, but when you add in my travel schedule, it's almost impossible. Perhaps someday, but not today. Harrison gladly accepted his scholarship and we decided to move west!

3. I started a new job as a fundraiser for Mercy Ships. It's pretty much the perfect job. Work from home (YES, please), great cause (free medical care for the poorest of the poor? Not bad, I'd say), great team, and lots of prospects for success. I LOVE it. The job also necessitated a move to the mid-west. This is all just working out swimmingly.

4. I went to Africa to see the ship and meet the patients whom we are able to help at Mercy Ships. It was exhausting, and I don't think anything will rival Haiti as far as the stealing-my-heart-and-not-letting-it-return-to-America-with-me-ness, but it was still pretty great. Here's the ship...HUGE.

5. With some trepidation, we ventured into the idea of home-buying. Within less than a month, we found a darling little bungalow in midtown Tulsa and decided to buy! We love the house, the yard, the neighborhood, and the price (thank you, Tulsa, for pricing your homes so that we are paying less for all home costs including taxes, insurance, etc. than we were paying for a one-bedroom apartment in Pittsburgh). Here's our house....

6. We moved to Tulsa! Pittsburgh was just really not jiving with us for about 100 reasons, but I was still pretty emotional about leaving, since my family is so nearby. Living in Pgh was just not what we thought it would be. It's probably good that we had the year there, even with Pitt working hard to suck out my soul the whole time, because it sort of burst the bubble that I had been building for 8 years of what it would be like to go back to PA. Pittsburgh is a great city and all, but it just wasn't us. Here's a good example: Tulsa University and Pitt are ranked very, very close to one another as far as law school rankings go. Same tier, and only about 10 spots away from each other (they rank schools based on bar passage rate, professor quality, and a few other things). TU offers Harrison a 90% scholarship (YES!...sorry, I still celebrate a little every time I think about that), and Pitt didn't accept him. WHAT?! That makes less than no sense. It was the last in a long line of fateful occurances that seems to say...."Go, go to Oklahoma...GO!" So we did. And while I hate to be away from family, I really like this place so far. We are on the other side of town from ORU, so I haven't had PTSD too many times yet. ha. No, but really.

7. Amid craziness and busyness galore, this little guy kept us smiling, and laughing, particularly when he tried to take over for Harrison at the wheel a few times during our drive from PA to OK. Good puppy. Don't you just want to squeeze him??

So it's been a busy few months! Now that I'm working from home (which equates to having at least 3-4 hours per day more time than I had working at Pitt), I have been getting busy on projects that I've wanted to do for awhile now and not gotten to them. I'm working on my garden, I'm cooking healthy and yummy food (the yummy part is nothing short of an act from God. I once got a rather serious burn making mac and cheese from a box. The Pioneer Woman has saved me and anyone I cook for from certain death), I've made several household products like lotions, laundry soap, toothpaste and the like from scratch with products that won't make us die early, and I'm ENJOYING MYSELF. All in all, happy life. I feel pretty lucky right about now :)

Until next time!
-apg

Next in Line, Please....!!

I find myself asking, “What will You do with me?”
“…What will I do with You?”

It took five years, a wedding, three jobs and a lot of frustration for my thick little head to realize it. I’ve always loved the Over the Rhine line… “This ain’t no dress rehearsal, I’m a very lucky girl.” I’ve quoted that very line a number of times in relation to a number of situations, and yet, it’s now, at 25, that I’m finally realizing the good fortune that’s been granted me. I could go on about all the ways it plays out, but there’s one in particular I’m thinking about today. That day in 2007 when I first walked across the bridge over the Massacre River. It was July, and hot as hell. Literally. I actually think hell might be that temperature. I was melting, and as a result, somewhat miserable and unable to concentrate. And yet, that midsummer day easily numbers among the best days of my life. It changed me forever.

If you’ve spent any time with me, you’ve probably heard me tell the story. I was in college, and had started a social awareness group at my school. I was particularly interested in children’s rights issues, and a friend’s family generously and serendipitously offered to pay for me to go to Haiti, to see a friend of theirs who ran a children’s center just across the Dominican border. I was as naïve as could be, but eager, and when I walked across the bridge from the DR to Haiti, it was not just the heat burning in me. I cannot begin to explain what I felt, but I knew that this was my life. For now and forever, this was me. This place, these kids, these babies with no one to wipe the sweat off their brow. A child ran up to me saying, “Mami! Mami!” I found out later that “Mami” is the customary word used by children to refer to any older woman in Haiti, like we might say “Ma’am” in the States. But at the moment, I thought, “Yes, Mami. Perfect. That’s me. Your mommy.”

For five years since that day, I’ve fought with what to do, and how to get to the place of fully being Mami Amy. I worked with the children’s center for most of two years, but was unable to stay longer. I tried to make myself into an aid worker who would live full time with the kids, but that didn’t work either. You can’t force it. I have spent the years since then working in other non-profits, learning the art of fundraising. It’s a skill certainly needed in NGOs of all kinds, and I’m happy to have it in my toolkit! In my view, being “Mami” doesn’t just mean being a nurturer and changing diapers. It means using all my skills to benefit and make possible a full life for those with no one to call their own. There is nurture, but there is also strong, virtue-driven education, ethical business practices, a well-run system of funding that takes advantage of no one and allocates funds responsibly. I saw a drawing recently of a woman from the waist down, standing with one foot on a rocking chair and the other on a board room chair. I relate. That’s Mami Amy.
But alas. For years, I’ve been trying to find a place to put all of this. A place where I can use my skills to benefit the kids. But where is it? I’ve worked in Catholic education, something I strongly support. It was good, and I learned a lot. But I missed my babies. Now I work in Public Health fundraising. Again, close…but no cigar. Am I really that impatient? Or am I lucky… because I know what I want? Maybe some of both? Sometimes I envy those who have the ability to just go to a job, do it, go home, do it again. Duty. I lack that skill. I’m grateful for the opportunities I’ve had, but certainly long for one that joins my heart and head.

I’m not giving up on this. I’ve had my fair share of advisors of the “oh, the dreams will ware off when you grow up” persuasion over the past few years. But I still wake up and go to sleep every day thinking of these children -- sometimes nameless and faceless, but always there. I can’t quite explain that, but I also can’t ignore it. I’ve written and published articles on the topic, I’ve spoken at various small events, I’m currently sitting on a board. But I want my hands dirty. I hope and pray the time comes soon.

Amy's Favorite Things: 2010

I have to admit, despite the fact that I sacrifice some sort of dignity in the process, that I definitely hurried online like a lunatic to check out "Orpah's Favorite Things" this year. I'm not sure why. I was at work, and I heard this ad on pandora or something about the FT of Oprah's last season on-air, and for some reason I was really interested. I watched clips online of people passing out and losing their minds when O gave them new fancy watches that are probably worth more than most of their cars, candies wrapped in seemingly pure gold (given the stated value), various "signature Oprah" items, and of course... a 7 day all expense paid cruise. Pretty awesome for the people there, although I hope they know that they have to pay taxes on some of the gifts...

Nonetheless, I have been thinking today about my favorite things of 2010. So, here's a list, in no particular order.

1. Hillary's Menus. For any person working full time, the idea of coming home and thinking of something to eat for dinner, then going to the grocery store, then preparing said meal is just WAY too much to handle. I don't really like to cook all that much, so most of the time pre-menus, I ended up eating rye toast for dinner. However, Hillary has revolutionized this whole deal by providing me with menus, complete with shopping lists, photos, and step by step instructions, for every day of the week. YES!! Saturday comes along, the menu pops up up in inbox. I buy groceries on Sunday, and I'm SET for the whole week. It's awesome. You should try it. hillarydanz@gmail.com

2. Ferrero Rocher dark chocolate. Oh.my.gosh. It's like fuel for my mood. So rich in the middle, and the little chocolate shavings on the outside are delicious. One a day is plenty more than I should have, but when I need a pick-me-up... this is better than gin. ha.







3. Marshalls.
Seriously... Yankee Candles for $6.99? Seven for all Mankind jeans for $22? The biggest Ralph Lauren section I've ever seen and nothing over $39? Need I say more?



4. Bar Keeper's Friend. I really hate doing dishes. More than that, I really hate it when your sink gets all nasty inside because you got lazy and didn't do the dinner dishes fome last night. Yes, this problem could be partially solved by being more productive. But there are nights for all of us that are busy, and pasta sauce does a wonder on ceramic overnight. This stuff became my best friend this year -- it'll get ANYTHING out.

5. Re-used/homemade items. Between the sewing machine purchase (which I've thoroughly enjoyed), making bath bombs, and getting into all sort of other refurbishing projects, it's been a crafty sort of year. I like it this way.








6. Fizzy Water with lime. I started drinking this stuff last fall, and I seriously drink at least a couple gallons a week, I'd say. A little lime juice and you have a delicious drink that won't make you die earlier from aspertame intake, plus it keeps you hydrated. Not bad... for those of us who are huge wimps are drinking plain ice water.










7. This kid. Love him.


















8. Skatkin and Co oil burners. They burn super smoothly, and the scents that come with them are great. Particularly the Christmas ones. mmm.









9. Monograms. Particularly from Pottery Barn. I can't really explain this one, except that my mom never wrote my name in things when I was a kid, and more than one item was lost. I really hate losing them. If I label my entire adult life, perhaps I can avoid tragedy. Or, I'm nuts. One or the other.









10. Media: Stieg Larsson and David Ebershoff novels. Books by Dr. Richard McKenzie. His research is so complete it's incredible. Music by the Avett Brothers and Ingrid Michaelson. Changeling. All quite excellent.


11. Lastly, sweater patterned everything. I don't know when exactly this became a trend, but it's so cozy and fantastic and I love it. I bought sweater slippers at Thanksgiving and I now refuse to wear normal shoes outside in the evenings. I even saw these super cute wine bottle cozies made of cable knit, but I can't find them online now. Go figure. Anyway, check out the pillows... doesn't that just make you want to get some hot chocolate and cuddle up to a fireplace? yes.





Now, I realize that everything on this list is something that can be bought (except Harrison..?), and clearly, buyable things are not the most important things. However, in an effort to not get into a ranking of my favorite charities, causes, morals, etc.... I decided to stick with the little tangible joys in life.

Hey, happy Christmas! I can't believe it's time for the end of 2010 already, but 2011 is going to be super fun. I wish you all the best this Holiday season!

love,
amy

Sometimes, I want to punch people in the face.

I know, I shouldn't. And I never actually have, but I get so freaking mad sometimes. I should probably pray more, do yoga, take a walk. Ok, ok... I'm getting there.

When I left Haiti awhile back now, I was SO ready to move on (on one hand) and totally distraught to be leaving (on the other). I can attribute most of this erratic mental-behavior to the fact that I knew the organization was so the WRONG place for me, and yet, I fell in love with the kids there. So that caused a lot of termoil. I'm sorry if you all have had the misfortune of stumbling across the rantings over the topic on this blog.

On a totally different level, I was in a car accident in January of last year (yep, almost a whole dang year ago) and I'm yet to get the proper medical care. I went to a chiropractor for 9 months, who, albeit a nice person, clearly did not really have the training needed to treat me. Then I finally get an MRI (after mentioning it a number of times) and I find out I have these herniations in my discs, blah, blah, blah. I fight with 23549627 doctors and insurance people in Naples, and finally get the test done... to SEE if I need a procedure. Good God. It's like a page from Catch 22 around here. Again, I have the strong desire to hit people. Honestly -- just DO YOUR JOB. That's all I'm asking of you. If your lot in life is to answer phones, then damn it, you should be the best phone answerer this world has ever seen. I couldn't get calls back, appts scheduled, etc. I finally fired a lawyer, got another (who ended up not being able to take the case), and now I'm lawyerless again. I got in with one doctor, but can't get in for a second opinion with ANYONE. Call my crazy, but I don't really want this guy shoving needles with lasers into my spine until I at least have another trained medical professional saying it's a good idea. PUNCH.

So, long story short, I have done a lot of shadow boxing (not in the figurative way) in the last year. There are so many good things happening in life -- Harrison and I are getting married, my job is going well, etc., and yet, the punching reflex. I'm sort of pessimist by nature, so it's hard to see the bright side at times. I try.

Today I get online and notice that the kids from the orphanage are coming to the US (actually arrived yesterday) for this choir thing they've been planning for a year-ish now. Now, that's lovely and all, but it really makes me mad that I've asked the org about 1351 times if I could get more info about this, especially since one of the kids coming is the one I want to ADOPT, and they just utterly refuse to answer emails. It's just like the people at the doctor offices. I'm a professional (sort of) and I can say with assurance -- customer service has to be at the TIP TOP of the list for any group if they want to be successful. I just simply can't fathom not returning phone calls and emails. And you know what... if you "don't ever have the time" -- then HIRE MORE STAFF. All you do by trying to work on a super small staff is alienate potential customers, supporters, donors, whatever. It's insane. It's terrible business. It's economic stupidity. It's corporate suicide. It's REALLY ANNOYING.

In moments of mercy, I'm sure that everyone at the doctors offices, insurance companies, orphanages, etc. is very well intentioned. Actually, I'm positive that they are. But, you know what they say about good intentions. When it comes to business, intentions aren't enough. You have to be proactive. You have to call people back, return their messages and emails, send them a frickin birthday card. These are the sorts of things that build loyalty, and ..well, general good will. Not doing them, or rather REFUSING to do them is... well... see above.

I'm sure half of the people reading this (ok, so maybe 1.5 people) are sitting there thinking about how bad of a person I am, and how if I really loved Jesus I'd be calm, quiet, content, and full of mercy. Well, to those people I say: Jesus hated this BS too. I'm not damning anyone to hell, I'm just asking them to be effective. God love them, being effective.

Well, back to my phone calls. Today is the Feast of St. Anthony. He was an educator and missionary. That's a good sign, I'd say. St. Anthony -- pray before I punch someone.

ap

Orphanages in the US.

Here's the article I wrote for CNA. The first part has been published -- second part is on its way tomorrow.

http://www.catholicnewsagency.com/cw/post.php?id=391

on my mind...

I feel like I'm supposed to be thinking about wedding-y things, but really, my brain just wants to overly focus on a few aspects of this, and forget about the rest. That's where my friends come in to help, aha!!

All I want to deal with is:

a). The dress. I love dresses.
b). The music. I love music. And I have fantastically musical friends and family who will play for me :)
c). The flower girl and ring bearer, because they're always the cutest part of a wedding, anyway.

Aside from that, I'm relying on friends and family. I think the atmosphere at an event of any sort is the most important, so all the little details escape me. I think big picture. I'm only accustomed to planning events for fundraisers. If this were going to be a fundraiser for my kiddos, or something, I'd be all about it. But a big party ... I don't know. I get too nervous.

If any of you have brilliant suggestions for a farm/cathedral/folk music/beer on tap/gold and champagne sort of wedding, you just let me know.

The Engagement

Well, I said, "yes." That's really the exciting part, right?!

As many of you have requested, I've decided to write out a bit of the proposal story, even though I don't have any pictures yet. Andrea took some, so I'll add them when I have them :)

The whole thing started with a pack of lies (great start to a marriage, I'd say ;) )! Harrison told me we were going to a wine bar in Naples on Saturday night, and that he wanted to get dressed up. This is fairly common for us, so I put on a dress and he said he'd pick me up about 6. We started driving off (after covering the car seat with towels since SOMEONE had left the window cracked in the monsoon!) and soon were driving in the wrong direction. I asked where we were going, and he refused to tell me. He thinks he's so funny.

Then I saw a group of our friends in a car, but I didn't think much of it at the time.

We pulled up in front of a Church, and I asked him what we were doing. It was about that time that I realized he was, perhaps, going to pop the question. And, typical for me, I TOTALLY FREAKED OUT. I refused to get out of the car, and kept saying things like, "Ohmygodwhatarewedoing, whyarewehere, ohgod, where'sjalen, ishehiding!?" etc. (Note: Jalen is one of the friends we saw driving by.)

I'll spare you the long process it took to get me to actually go INSIDE the church, but I will tell you that it involved me patting Harrison down for a ring (which I didn't find), checking his phone to see whom he'd recently talked to (which revealed nothing) and a heartrate of about 230. Not that I was not cool and collected.

We get into the Church, and it's totally empty. I see some flowers in the front and a journal that we used to send back and forth to each other when we were dating long distance. He asks me to read the journal, and I attempt to, although I was so hyper that I had no idea what it said. The last line said that he had a question to ask me... I turned around (after staring at the ceiling for a minute) and he was on his knee. The ring has been sitting in the pew, so he grabbed it when I turned around. I said yes (in approximately 23 syllables of stuttering) and then Andrea appeared for the pictures. After the "yes" the very first words I spit out were, "Can I have a martini now??!?!" I really wish someone would've video taped, because it would have been hilarious!!

Then we went to my friend Jessica's house for a little party, which was really sweet. All of our friends were there, including my bosses and coworkers. It was sweet of everyone to show up :) We had a nice little party, and called the parents. Harrison's mom asked if I said yes to him, or to the ring. I told her it was a little of both ;) My mom cried, and I think she was a little disappointed that I didn't, but she'll get over it. I was too freaked out to cry.

About 24 hours later, I finally calmed down. Now we're just going to enjoy the time for awhile, before trying too hard to plan things. I'll let you all know when we have a time and place. Until then, I'll work on the photos of that BEAUTIFUL ring!

Love,

ap